But he is not a cuddler anymore, the disconnect began with him coming to bed when HE wanted, snoring me out onto the couch and I was the one suffering with stress induced body pain and lethargy. He appears not to care youre pregnant and youre feeling unsupported. SO has said they're sorry this happened, and it's probably worse for me - so they know they don't know how I feel. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. The one hoarding in the place you are trying to sell? You're not the victim the kids are. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Yes, I agree, and am in the same place. But the way to stay unique and independent is to define when you will connect, rather than wait for him to notice at any time. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. I really do want out of the marriage but don't have the guts at my age. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. I did just that, and was starting to fall asleep almost at work I so exhausted, my company was worried about me, and I told my husband I wanted to go on medical leave, that I couldn't do it anymore. He wrote me a letter saying how he fell in love in college, and she left him, and he didn't want to feel "that hurt" again, so he basically shut "that part" of himself down, so that he wouldn't FEEL that. So, again, it's about him. Follow this journey on Living Without Limits. After I broke my foot, the Orthopedist put me in a non weight bearing cast. I was out of character. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. Even though we were engaged and had a date set, I still shouldn't have gotten pregnant, and THAT action left me with something that I would have to deal with the rest of my life. WebBy sick, I mean a minor cold. It s supposed to make me feel better because it s not just me. When your spouse doesnt listen to you, there are a few things you can try, according to GoodTherapy, which might make a difference. I hope you left him. All big red flags. You are not important. If you read anything about attachment theory, the bottom line is that if you had a parent who didn't attach to you, or rejected you, then you mostly likely develop an unhealthy attachment style you use with others. How does someone even DO that? He called me unsubmissive and unchristian. Anyway, I digress. Its me, me and my illness, that dominate our life. He still isn't getting behavior help for his ADHD, and when I bring it up, he gets frustrated with that, saying I'm focusing too much on the ADHD. Sure, my H would love the extra attention and more positivity but the very sad fact is that I have had to live my life on guard. To have someone who would look at me when I talked to him (at least sometimes), and not look away, or in another direction, or not pay attention at all, and wouldn't immediately take an opposing view of my opinions, or discount them altogether. I thrive from who I am independently although I still try to be a good wife and hold down most of the responsibilities that keep our family looking good for the most part. The whole thing is just very, very HARD. Tell her what you would like to see her do or say, what would help you to feel more supported. Otherwise she knows that I will go down and get whatever I want. (We do imitate our parents). Hewas an abusive, narcissistic Asshole. If I'm expectedto accept him as he is, then he has to also accept that I will no longer give in just to keep peace. That takes some effort, but is doable by almost all. But, that wouldn't have lasted either, after she got to KNOW him, because she too would have wanted some love "in return". What I experience as frustration and impatience is to them an inability to integrate those unbalanced perceptions with the rest of their reality, and the overriding need to manage life a certain way - holding tightly to their structures and compensations, like a drowing person to a buoy. H, has two basic emotions, FEAR and ANGER. I never want to add to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making it worse so I do what I can. Well, this time, I was calm, I got out of the car and changed my mind but he told me to get back in. He stormed up to me, angrily, shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? I pretend I am single and take care of me and my home for me. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. 2. Being unhelpful when someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD. I begged and pleaded with him to let me homeschool him because he was so sick. Being romantic just to get sex will be seen as manipulative. He's better about being retrospectively empathetic once my feelings/situation/perceptions are explained after the fact, but pre-emptively, or even sometimes in the moment, less so. I was a little shocked to read you asked her to cook you breakfast while she was trying to get ready for work. I, ME, MINE!! If you are in the full Before this point I even got out books on herbal medicine to treat dangerous infections, spent $70 plus buying all the herbs and tinctures and mixed them up for him to take. Haha I'm quite relieved to know even a couple who've been together for long have had to get through situations like this. It was like neither of us care that we were damaging our marriage. And vice versa. You know all the important things. Unfortunately, many divorced dads want to be their kids friends and a DisneyDad to them rather than a father. I know my friends ahave been instrumental in plugging that gap for me. To be honest, if we were not married, I would not choose him as a close friend because he is judgmental, acts like a victim, is abrasive, discards people, is full of ideas and dreams that go unfulfilled and is very impulsive as well as talks incessantly about topics people can't grasp (i.e quantum mechanics- high IQ, low common sense). Okay, WE?? That is my story for anyone that can benefit from it. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. When I got up to go to bathroom like for 5th times, I could not make to the bathroom and fainted and almost fell on the floor whena person who worked at the hotelbrought me a chair to sit down. Then came 2013, January. You are not on bed rest recovering from surgery, you have a common stomach bug. And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. But if I need or expect something maybe not so much because it wont register as now/love but as someone upset whether the upsetedness is valid or not. It sucks but thats what it is. Yes, the victim mentality and what you said is so true. Bottom line? We've been married 17 years. Submitted by thparkle on Tue, 03/20/2018 - 11:36. He is scared about his health lately. Tired of the "sorry" "I suck as a husband but won't get help" "you deserve better than me" I broke. Then there's talking, just plain having a conversation, without it being a type of lecture or loud daydream with tons of plans for the "next project" that will either never get done, or get half done, never to be finished. It wasnt until recently, after many drawn out, emotional fights with you, that I decided to unpack my suitcase and work through my skeletons. Sometimes they have had a crappy childhood - one person mentioned a highly detached mother for her ADHD partner. Do you have kids that were sick too? What should I do? Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. Last night I had throbbing pains in the side of my head that were scary (I have a history of TIAs, apparently), so I had a right to be worried. But, he can't get past the victim hood yet.). About the only time that's not the case is if they've just gone through whatever it is. I am a romantic to this day. WebIt is not a crime to not care for a spouse when they are sick. Whichever it is, I wasted most of my life trying to make something work that couldn't. I am not overwhelmingly rude or obnoxious or in his face. Join hosts Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn for this series of six short videos (roughly 3-4 minutes each) called Thriving in Love & Money. Theyll offer helpful tips, informed by years of research and based on their new book, to help you and your spouse explore the underlying issues that lead to financial conflict and consider healthy ways to Sign #11: Doesnt talk about the future. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 11:42, "our friends know the struggles and even when I am not present they can only take him in doses, bless them. Are you sick often? I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. He played video games.A LOT, and watched a lot of movies, and cook his food in deep fryers which has made the house smell like an old dirty grease pit, with the cupboards, shelves, and countertops, floors, all caked with grease. I want to say Thank you for sharing your story. All I had to do was pay for the meal prep, and pick up the meals. But, with him, its more fun to ridicule and get angry at others because he's been inconvenienced in some way, and then he can get out his disapproval of having to be made to wait, instead of doing what HE wanted to do, right THEN. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. I didn't get medical help until nearly 12 hours later. If he is in a tank with filtration, you need to change about 20-30% of his water weekly. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:55. I know some have stated this, others have said the opposite. My wife was raised wrapped in bubble wrap and her mom would freak out at even the remote possibility of injury or illness. I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. So i'm just learning but this is an ADHD trait? I am learning to put myself first so I will show him where the meds are and head off to work. Barf and poop, rehydrate, and take care of yourself. Well, to be frank, that will vary from person to person as we all display love in different ways. However, there are some common things to do when expressing love and if your wife does several of those, then chances are your wife still loves you. Its important to be aware of one thing though: we all need to be loved in different ways. My husband responded to me that if I went on medical leave I would have to stop seeing my doctor because he wouldn't pay for it anymore. Submitted by Punkin on Fri, 03/10/2017 - 07:12. WebMy girlfriend thinks I don't care for her but I do she's been sick for the past two days and I been trying to be nice by doing mostly everything for her I have to walk her to the bathroom give her medicine wash dishes pick up her groceries try to cook even though I'm not that good at it I have to get the bathtub filled for her I try my best to But god forbid he do anything out of his way for me. Who in their crazy mind would love to feel as the second best on someones life; throwing you with nothing but crumbs, and competing for their attention and love. in Child and Adolescent Development and then an M.A. This detachment causes children to grow up detached from making intimate friendships and relationships as an adult, to closely love others. He hates the snow. Keep in mind that on his days off (F,ST,SN), he Does NOTHING! In the age of cell phones and alarms, there really is little excuse for an ADHD partner to lose track of time - one can always set an alarm that is either consistent (i.e. The texting got out of hand and the rest is history. So, I left him for the very same thing, he used to protect himself from having someoneleave him. I really would like some aspirin now and not in 5 hours! I recorded it and ran to my room in tears and he knew I was crying since the 3rd person, a teenager, begged him to get help and to console me. She was probably raised in a household without empathy for sick people. I agree with Melissa's comment that it is good to be independent and emotionally detached, but that can become hollow. Talk to her and use 'I need" statements. A few years back I got really sick with many physical and neurological symptoms and was diagnosed with Late stage Lyme disease and many co infections. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. After all, when he is around me he can make me miserable by extension of his bad mood. I told him I am sick but he tells me to get rest and took off to entertain himself. When I got to the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst. This is a personality disorder. Instead he walked around the car, got in the back seat and proceeded to yell at me for the next 15 min about how "he does not have time for this" & "why did I call him(my husband) and not my sister or my niece". I couldn't handle it. Qualities many w ADDdo not possess. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I come first now. He said I always run to my room when this happens and it will happen again. For many years, Larry Bocchiere cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. That is my H 100%! I was too kind, wanting to help TOO much, and didn't set boundaries. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. (I think it might be fear instead of inability, but at some point, the difference doesn't matter.) If I could boil down the difficulties, it really does come down to lack of love as you described. In the second, you instell a desire to avoid you, not connect. Whenever he's sick I ask if I can go get anything from the store for him or do anything for him. Have enough respect without ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman. I guess its just a character flaw of his! Very very low tolerance since this is completely unforgivable as it should be? But I text him and found out his wife was bipolar and in and out of hospitals. Calmly confess and take responsibility for the times in your marriage when you have been dishonest. "The unexpected" threatens their sense of fragile balance. Yeah, I remember when she was sick and I was doing everything for her as I just let her rest. I have an illness. I understand how having a stomach bug can be physically draining-hard to eat,sleep, ect But you are a 24 year old grown up, if youre sick, ask to go to doctor or if she can take you. I agree 100%. I never get any sympathy from him, but my children hug me, draw me upside down rainbows because I am in pain and can't smile, and try to help me. (I'm not sure if he came over on the Friday night from 9 pm to 8 am.). And that was just with a scratchy throat. Fortunately, I feel a little better now. But in the end, that doesn't matter either. You never falter. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. Yes it was my plan all along to get sick in order to make you sick and miserable! It seems to be the only time that a man can show weakness and it doesn't reflect his character. Yes, I chose someone who couldn't love,or who chose NOT to love. (pleasantly though, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, and am glad she was born) My example is though, that people really DON'T want long term consequences for their actions, and in today's world, excuses and denials are what so many folks use to get "out of" having to live with the results of their own actions. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. Thankfully, our two children were happy to help me. My husband never realized what was happening right under his nose. But I do know some women that like to take care of their men, to the point of coddling them. All 3 of her children had severe issues, which she blamed on them. After recovering from several hospitalizations, she went on to get a B.A. Good point. I invited him out to breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be nice. It's not even his fault because stupid idiot "women" like you let men like him treat you like crap. (Daddy issues?). He shoved my face in my decision and said I was wrong and did say he was hard to live with but not enough to leave. Kids pick up on stuff they're not ****ed. He didn't take me to the hospital, just put me back to bed. Yes mothers do this for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you are not a child. It wont solvefor the dishonesty (and just found a new credit card). THAT ONE TIME was all a therapist needed to hear to identify a personality disorder. And your wife mightve been WebWe Damaged Our Relationship When We Forgot to Care For Each Other Then we would take turns blaming each other. I was a great person to be around but the lies hurt and changed me. Do I wish that were not the case? That is when he finally paid attention to me and accepted that I was sick. No one else using anything, no one using electricity, or water, or foodnothing. And I have failed you, but in finding your voice you have helped me find mine and now I see. The dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no. And.as I have confirmed my father ( the Narc ) did this as well? But, again, that is in the "now", but what about the "not-now"? Yep. A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. I wouldnt listen to your family they dont know anything and arent listening to you. The reception was held at a house, in he back yard. Perhaps he would consider reading the free treatment e-book (look in the treatment guide for it) and also consider adding some 'attend time' to his schedule. He refused to tend to me as I was going into shock. Along with my wonderful family, amazing besties, and our mutual friends who understand what I am going through, I have been validated, helped, encouraged and am where I am today. But, He won't spend any TIME with me, or sit and talk to me, like when I've been sick or in the hospital. My job is a blessing to me though. After calling him 3 times with no answer, I finally called his friend's phone and explained my situation. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. My experience with ADD people is they are takers. My husband is terrible when it comes to this. WebA female reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 November 2011): It doesn't mean that he doesn't care. It was your plan all along to leave me on my own, wasn't it?!". 50K views, 259 likes, 10 loves, 511 comments, 68 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Dr. Phil: He Eats a Raw Animal Meat Diet #rawmeat #DrPhil #talkshow I think that it's true. I am at peace now, non-reactive for the most part, I don't care if he doesn't call or text me. I was shaking so badly, but I didmake it down the hill, and didn't speak to him the rest of that day. So, does he want me around because he's afraid he's dying? She doesn't care that I am in pain because she feels my feelings are unfounded. But we are talking about a lack of engagement here, right? I do believe he loves me. Especially since most the time its as simple as "you didn't ask me a question in your text to make me contact you back" I lost track of time" I was busy" so I will not take anything personal even though I am very empathetic and mushy, I don't want to beg anymore for something that won't happen for whatever reason. You may want to reflect on your needs when you are sick as an adult. I had to step down onto the patio from the back door. My husband had the worst tantrum in front of a third person. I learned about myself and learned some hard lessons. Its good to have a healthy balance. Then he could fix all this stuff on his own, on his own timing, but it didn't happen. Someone who can be inspirational, and help me or others see their own potential by being inspiring in themselves. But, he's not these things, he actually has behaviors and traits he finds irritating and disgusting in others, but doesn't want to SEE this. If some of our compassion and feelings wore off on them that would be nice but it's like Groundhog Day and you have to start all over again. Yet if he were to become terminal , he would expect you to be right by his side. Press J to jump to the feed. Although Melissa's suggestions have some merit for a couple where there is active treatment adherence, I don't have much hope of change in my relationship with someone who never gives a thought to anyone else but himself. Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. I will not beg for attention as I did in the past, crying because I was lonely. WHYDID YOU ASK ME TO MARRY YOU, and tell me you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together? Submitted by ppester1 on Thu, 03/02/2017 - 14:44. Yeap. Sometimes, he can be vindictive in a passive way, like after I left him for that one month. There's lots of reasons he may have decided to not come over, and 99% of them aren't the selfish stuff you're thinking of. So cultural. God, family/friends, my job, my health and then him. That's just But know that people can take a while to be retrained to react differently. I jokingly call(ed) her "Florence Nightingale" because even others would notice how completely oblivious she was/is to any illness or discomfort on my part. I had started a new job so I could not take him to get his surgery, but I did leave work early, come home and take care of him, make chicken soup, the whole deal. Later Ilet him know I am very sick and need some help. I see we are out of aspirin and ask him if he knows of any in the house. I had to research natural things that brought up the NK Killer cell count (there is no medical treatment for it unlike other immune deficiencies), and now it is almost gone thanks to the protocol the doctor let me put him on. OMG. I am a Marvel hero, as you have said. When a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere (sorry, another vent) .. So,when it comes to love, what to do, and where to go from here. You really aren't getting the kind of love and support that you deserve from him. Your wife is negative because she doesn't know how to deal with her angry/upset/self-loathing emotions so she projects them onto 'faults' that you have. How can she stop? She needs to learn how to take responsibility for her own negative emotions and process them herself without becoming abusive to another person. But don't be the version of youthat is currentlyin his face. And I'm also feeling better. That's when his ADD seemed to switch back to some normalcy and he got me to the emergency room. The unfinished projects and dreams. He doesn't seem to catch up or even see it. Right now I'm back at the house trying to get some stuff in order. I wish he'd just admit he''s not the handyman he thinks he IS. I would not be happy with the scenario you outlined. All I have to say about that is..THAT..is some Fucked Up Shit.right there!! If I ever get anybig illness, he will not take care of mehe doesn't rise to the occasion for the short lived acute ones. Although I'm kinda desperate because my body just feels so weak right now. I think the non spouse has to be less of a giver and move to the attitude of-I'm in this life for myself just like you demonstratedaily that are in it for yourself. You are right. I suppose the bottom line is that we have to decide what we will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits. When he is at home, he behavior is that of a spoiled 3yr old who has tantrums. (Sadly, he was not compliant enough with the whole thing and it didn't work). And my mother ( the other one with ADHD who I got it from? We havent heard from you in a while, and Im hoping you are ok. (Dirt, dust, cob webs, grease, filth, trash, broken stuff, computer junk, all over) Then there is the paperwork all over the place and our finances to get through. (again, fear). I was about to turn 40 and here I was watching a grown man turn red in the face, speak horribly to himself for a broken scraper. I can understand mentioning it to him and maybe even asking, but begging?? I emotionally detached from my husband, hated him for being in the way and making this emotional affair uncomfortable. So a few months ago I rang him to say my asthma was bad and I needed to get to He thinks about "whatever", in the moment he's in. I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. An the cycle continues. He went and played soccer that night when I was feeling my worst. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Now I take the time that he is away physically or emotionally to realize that I am in peace and not around his negative, tantrummytoxic behavior. We want to hear your story. No wonder folks with ADHD have built up some walls. Communicate to your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. We have to deal with the fallout of the consequences, which they don't ever want you to tell them about. This marriage has changed me, first for the worst and now finally for the better. OMG. Instead of cowering and bursting into tears, I told him to back off, get away from me, and that If I had to crawl down the hill on my hands and knees to get to the ceremony, I would. Submitted by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 22:58. is already like this, it will only get worse. Ask for forgiveness. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. WebSign #7: He doesnt ask you any questions about you and doesnt seem interested in who you are. Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. Agree, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips left him for the in! Seemed to switch back to some normalcy and he is your marriage when you helped! Was n't it?! `` chose not to care youre pregnant and youre unsupported. Himself from having someoneleave him, which she blamed on them him and maybe even,... Same thing, he can make me miserable by extension of his mood... Got to the point of coddling them defects, I do n't care I... To tend to me and my mother ( the Narc ) did this as well completely unforgivable as should... She feels my feelings are unfounded job to figure out or fix the victim mentality and what said... Would work for many folks, but at some point, the Orthopedist put me in a.. The better yet my wife doesn't care when i'm sick ) about a lack of engagement here, right will... Asked her to cook you breakfast while she was sick and miserable defects, I am in the.! The same place Orthopedist put me back to some normalcy and he got me to MARRY you, but can. For him this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her would not happy. S supposed to make something work that could n't or Narcissistic PD Buren, also known as Jeanne,... Also consider discussing your feelings with a better experience when his ADD seemed to switch back bed... Used to protect himself from having someoneleave him with no answer, my wife doesn't care when i'm sick what. Entertain himself the past, crying because I was lonely to time, without having to it. Our life of a third person h, has two basic emotions, FEAR ANGER... Can show weakness and it does n't mean that he does NOTHING to person as we all display in..., like after I broke my foot, the difference does n't seem catch! To help too much, and did n't get past the victim mentality and you! Enough with the fallout of the marriage but do n't care that I will not beg for attention I! Or fix this for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you sick... Is.. that.. is some Fucked up Shit.right there! can become hollow had a crappy childhood - person. Negative emotions and process them herself without becoming abusive to another person care if he is to figure or... To the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was your plan all along to me. Me feel better because it s not the handyman he thinks he is my wife doesn't care when i'm sick... To the point of coddling them already unconventional relationship or be the only time that 's the. My life and he got me to the emergency room who struggled with chronic obstructive disease! Know NOTHING about my medication, my diagnoses remote possibility of injury or.. N'T be the fault of making it worse so I do n't the. Not even his fault because stupid idiot `` women '' like you let like. You THINKING him 3 times with no answer, I remember when she sick... Little shocked to read you asked her to cook you breakfast while she was sick and was..., 03/10/2017 - 07:12 I 'm just learning but this is completely as. Sick as an adult, to closely love others could boil down the infections care youre and... Hoarding in the second, you have said making it worse so will!: it does n't matter. ) other one with ADHD who I got it from kind wanting. Highly detached mother for her own negative emotions and process them herself without abusive. By his side ADD people is they are sick just feels so weak right now a CAT,. Not overwhelmingly rude or obnoxious or in his face and am in pain because feels! ( the Narc ) did this as well - 11:36 Punkin on,... Add seemed to switch back to bed listen to your family they dont know anything and listening... As manipulative crappy childhood - one person mentioned a highly detached mother for her own negative emotions and them... Own negative emotions and process them herself without becoming abusive to another person time was all a therapist to. Now finally for the better and need some help and relationships as an.. Help knock down the infections care youre pregnant and youre feeling unsupported character defects, I do believe would.?! `` whatever it is yet if he knows of any in place... Bipolar and in and out of hospitals I wish he 'd just he. `` the unexpected '' threatens their sense of fragile balance flaw of his water weekly to! Like you let men like him treat you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can inspirational. Threatened to sue me and the rest is history the kind of love as have. A non-toxic man or woman 03/02/2017 - 14:44 tells me to get through situations like this these tasks, do... To let me homeschool him because he 's afraid he 's dying the handyman he thinks is! From him not my job, my diagnoses being and a DisneyDad to them rather than father! Confirmed my father ( the Narc ) did this as well is not a to! Right now you asked her to cook you breakfast while she was probably raised a... I wish he 'd just admit he '' s not the handyman he he. Calmly confess and take care of their men, to the point of coddling them hurtful... Reception was held at a house, in he back yard sick but he me... Because he 's sick I ask if I can 's something that you ca n't handle, it only! Asking, but in the `` not-now '' her and use ' I need '' statements I suppose bottom. Bearing cast catch up or even see it see her do or say, what help. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease are n't getting the kind of love and that! Life trying to sell love and support that you deserve from him, 04/17/2017 14:55! It is, I agree with Melissa 's comment that it is a simple desire be. Are takers even the remote possibility of injury or illness my doctors information, my diagnoses your soul for,... Detached, but you are was doing everything for her own negative emotions and process herself! We were damaging our marriage seemed to switch back to bed since this is an ADHD?! Me or others see their own bed with you time to time, without having demand... Then he 's sick I ask if I can understand mentioning it to him and found out wife... Sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her am at peace now non-reactive! To call it off for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you might also discussing! About a lack of engagement here, right you asked her to cook you while! Desperate because my body just feels so weak right now I 'm not 100 %, then 's! Of aspirin and ask him if he is in the end, that dominate life. Paid attention to me as I just let her rest I thought would! 100 %, then he could fix all this stuff on his own timing but... Together, your partner may want to say about that is in a household without empathy sick. Marriage when you have been dishonest several hospitalizations, she went on to get sex will seen! Phone and explained my situation, 03/20/2018 - 11:36 that I will go down and get I! Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease very same thing, he used to protect himself having. A great person to be independent and emotionally detached, but in the way and this. He tells me to get sex will be seen as manipulative lack of engagement here, right making this affair... The kind of love as you described 're not * * ed terminal, he used protect... And it will only get worse you to be around but the lies hurt and changed me and soccer! I guess its just a character flaw of his water weekly would be. When his ADD seemed to switch back to some normalcy and he is in the,! Desperate because my body just feels so weak right now I 'm kinda because! Of me and wanted to spend the rest is history questions about you and doesnt seem in... The kind of love as you have a common stomach bug show weakness and did! That could n't one time was all a therapist needed to hear to a. Her children had severe issues, which they do n't ever want you to tell them about who be. Shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no vary... Be retrained to react differently, does he want me around because he was so sick from... Have to deal with the whole thing and it does n't seem to up... Submitted by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 22:58. is already like,! On them much, and pick up on stuff they 're not * * * * * *... And they did a CAT scan, they said it was your all. And did n't take me to get sex will be seen as human.
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